Love Your Life
By letting go of perfection, which is an impossible goal in life, you can find more satisfaction. Start by rethinking your priorities. When you create your To Do List, take a minute to estimate how much time and effort it will take to complete the items on it. Then use a second piece of paper to record the experiences you would like to have, such as free hour to play with your dog or go skateboarding. By doing so, you will be more likely to accomplish the things on your “Experience List.”
Gradually increase your tolerance for disappointing others by saying no to activities or social invitations when you are overwhelmed. Similarly, stop judging yourself so harshly by imagining a friend in your situation and what you would say to him or her. Practice self-compassion and be as kind. supportive and reassuring to yourself as you would be to another person.
Remember that your thoughts are not reality. Geneen Roth in her book, This Messy Magnificent Life: A Field Guide, advises readers to “Stand in your own two shoes” and leave their ruminations and worries behind to consciously breathe and experience the world around them. Roth also suggests that at least five times a day for a minimum of ten seconds, ask yourself and answer, “What’s not wrong?” This can help you identify successes and things to be grateful for that you otherwise might have overlooked.
Smile, laugh and/or talk in person with a friend or acquaintance who is cheerful. All three actions can boost your own happiness, as can giving someone a hug, which increases the oxytocin level in your blood stream, and chewing gum, which lowers cortisol levels and helps to alleviate stress. Continue to connect with others through simple gestures, such as giving an authentic compliment, listening closely to someone who needs to be heard, saying a sincere “Thank you” to a teacher or a store cashier, and letting another driver cut in front of you with a friendly wave.
Every day has moments of hope, love and possibility. By making small changes to your actions and establishing a new habit or two, you can play an active part in improving your happiness and mental health.
Photo by Tim Buss