Unhealthy Relationships
Individuals often remain in unhealthy relationships due to fear or the fact that they do not want to be alone. It is possible for both males and females to experience abusive relationships with friends, employers and co-workers, and not only with romantic partners or family members.
Controlling behavior can be subtle, such as a partner always being the driver, interfering with your personal belongings and/or insulting your individual goals and activities or things that you enjoy. If you begin feeling isolated, powerless and/or worthless in your relationship, it may be an unhealthy one. Adapting to someone else’s expectations; becoming emotionally or financially dependent; being afraid or ashamed; experiencing low self-esteem or physical changes in your eating, sleeping or weight; losing your identity, power or voice; and withdrawing socially from others are additional warning signs.
Abuse can happen just once or it can be a pattern of behavior that occurs frequently. It is always intentional. Emotional abuse is the use of words and nonviolent behaviors to control and exert power over another individual. It can take the form of emotional unavailability or abandonment. Indicators of emotional abuse include accusing, blaming, criticizing, dismissing, guilting, humiliating, monitoring, neglecting, ridiculing and shaming. Emotional and psychological abuse often escalates to physical violence.
Trust your intuition, expect other people to treat you with respect (and show it to them), have personal goals that you continue to pursue, and maintain existing relationships with individuals outside of the relationship. A mental health professional can help you to establish boundaries, especially digital ones like blocking the individual or taking a break from social media. The “Grey Rock Method” where you disengage and disconnect from a manipulative person when he or she asks you questions by avoiding eye contact, focusing on another activity and giving short noncommittal responses can be useful, as can spending time with friends and family members and building a safety network that includes them.
If you do leave the relationship, consider writing yourself a note about why you chose to end it. That way if you miss your partner in the future, you will have a reminder about why it is important not to reconcile with him or her. Emotional abuse can cause fear, hopelessness and shame and contribute to anxiety, depression, substance abuse and other mental health disorders. Ending an unhealthy relationship is a positive decision to lead a healthier life.
To receive help, contact Love Is Respect, which has trained advocates available 24/7 to offer support to teenagers and young adults with concerns about dating and/or relationships, by calling (866) 331-9474 or texting loveis to 22522. Similarly, One Love provides information to help distinguish between healthy and unhealthy relationships so youth can identify and avoid dating abuse.