Talking About Mental Health
While the words used to discuss mental health are changing, it is important not to let a fear of saying the wrong thing stop you from asking someone how he/she is or prevent you from having conversations on the topic, which can contribute to silence and stigma. Find a place to talk where you will not be distracted and both of you will feel comfortable, and silence your phone. If the individual is not ready to have a conversation, know that your having reached out will make it easier for him/her to do so when he/she is ready. Remain available to talk in the future.
Brief, more frequent conversations are a better way to communicate with youth. Long discussions tend to feel like lectures and are often ineffective. Listen with your full attention so adolescents know you believe what they are saying is important. They will be more likely to share if they feel like they are being heard. Try talking in the car as it can help when you do not have to look at the other person or him/her at you.
Concern about upsetting family or friends and worrying about what they will think or how talking about your feelings might affect your relationships is common. If you have a mental health condition and certain phrases or questions really bother you, let people know. Therapist Drew Coster has created a letter that a depressed individual can use to communicate with loved ones. Even if you do not want to share it, writing a letter can help you to process your feelings and possibly discover new ways of expressing yourself.
Whether it is a family member, friend, teacher, coach, medical professional or community leader, the goal should be to talk to someone who can help you find treatment. Be clear about what you are experiencing. Rather than saying, “I have been feeling anxious lately.”, explain “I feel anxious all of the time and do not know how to make it stop. I need help.” If speaking face-to-face is too intimidating, try initiating the conversation with a text like “I have something important on my mind. Can I talk to you about it soon?” When you do have a conversation, expect to be asked questions, such as “How long has this been going on?” or “Did something significant happen before you began feeling this way?”, as the other person tries to understand what you are experiencing.
If someone discusses his/her mental health with you, listen without interrupting and wait to respond until he/she has finished talking. Do not be judgmental and take him/her seriously. Let the person know that he/she is not a burden and can reach out to you again in the future. Be sure not to turn what you have been told into gossip. If there are things you do not understand, conduct research to find further information from reliable sources including government agencies and health organizations. When someone indicates that he/she has thoughts or plans to hurt himself/herself or others, has been hearing voices or is seeing things that no one else can, tell an adult, call or text 988, or take him/her to the emergency room.
Individuals can disclose a diagnosis while keeping some details private or tell certain people everything while sharing the bare minimum with others. Understanding mental health problems can take time and some listeners may be shocked, feel awkward and not know how to respond, or initially react poorly. Do not give up. Instead, think about someone else you can talk to to find the help you need. Discussing mental health issues has numerous benefits. You will not need to worry about accidentally mentioning them or having to account for appointments or medication and it can help explain why you may behave in certain ways, canceling plans or not replying to texts, etc. For friends and family members, simply acknowledging and accepting an individual’s problems and treating him or her with compassion can be extremely helpful following any conversations about mental health.