Family Meals
Family dinners reduce anxiety and depression in youth. Meals are a respite and not an opportunity to rehash everyone’s day. The table should be free of judgment, nagging and technology, with parents modeling their enjoyment of food. Atmosphere and a connection between family members matter far more than the frequency of meals. Children’s resiliency and self-esteem increase through the telling of stories, especially when parents talk about their own childhoods.
If you are interested in finding out how someone, particularly a youth, is feeling, ask questions like: What did you learn about today? or What is something interesting or funny you heard? Try talking about Roses (the best part of the day), Thorns (the most challenging thing that happened) and Buds (what you are looking forward to tomorrow). Daily inquiries can include: How were you brave and/or kind to someone today? or What was something that made you laugh? Other questions to stimulate conversation are: What is the most beautiful place you have ever been?; Would you rather spend the next month of your life in a library or a museum?; What five words describe our family?; Who is your celebrity crush?; What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?; If you had a superpower, what would it be and how would you use it?; The last thing you purchased from Amazon is your battle weapon of choice. What enemy are you fighting?; If you could visit any fictional place, where would you travel to?; and What is a chore you would pay someone else to perform for you?
Family rituals involve consistency and expectation. They can be as simple as Taco Tuesday, pizza on Friday nights and pancakes or a relaxing dinner on Sundays. Make a meal fun by serving foods all of one color, creating a rainbow menu, having an indoor picnic or trading family members’ usual seats. Go to the library with your children, check out cookbooks and have them select a recipe(s) they want to try at home. When you are cooking, consider doubling the recipe and placing half in the freezer labeled with the directions. You then will have something you can put in the oven for dinner on a busy day. Find activity suggestions, conversation starters, expert advice on topics like how “Autism, ADHD, and Learning Differences Can Cause Challenges at Family Meals” and “How to Balance Kid Sports and Family Dinner”; recipes; and a tool for setting Family Dinner Goals at Thefamilydinnerproject.org.
The American College of Pediatricians found that youth experience health and nutritional benefits from eating with their family three or more times each week. Family meals do not have to be dinner or even every day. Focus on quality over quantity and consider having breakfast together instead. Bon appétit!
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