Combating Social Isolation
Teens can be embarrassed to say they need help or worry that anyone they tell about their mental health issues will not understand or will be disappointed in them. Five signs that someone is in emotional pain and may require assistance are agitation; a change in his or her personality; hopelessness; poor self-care, including risky behavior; and withdrawing from others. Depression and other mental health conditions often result in social withdrawal, evading activities and people you usually enjoy, and/or social isolation, avoiding contact with family and friends and spending most of your time alone. Social media also can contribute by becoming a substitute for in-person socializing and meaningful conversations.
A simple text can support an individual who is isolating. Try asking him or her “What can I do for you right now?” or sending “I miss you.” or “I am just checking in. You do not need to type a response. Please just send a thumbs up if you read this.” Other possibilities include “It is okay to not be okay. You are not alone.” and “Why don’t we order Chinese food and binge watch a show? I know you are in a dark place, however, I can provide a meal and keep you company.”
In person, select a low-key moment to talk, which is easier when everyone feels comfortable. After explaining the changes you have noticed, listen in a non-judgmental way, which will show that you care, as will simple replies like, “That sounds very difficult.” or “You are really brave for talking about this.” Ask how you can help and whether the individual would like you to check on him or her regularly. If he or she does not want to talk, assure him or her of your availability if that changes.
Model healthy habits and do not drink alcohol or engage in other potentially destructive behaviors with a person who is isolating. Invite him or her to do something, like volunteering in the community or going on a walk or out for coffee, by saying, “I would really like for you to come with me.” Individuals with depression or other mental health issues also can reach out to their friends and family by making a list of the people in their lives with whom they want to reconnect and then scheduling an activity with one of them.
Isolation can cause sleeping difficulty, loneliness, relationship problems and substance abuse. Both cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and exposure therapy are used to treat social isolation. A type of talk therapy, CBT helps individuals gain an awareness of inaccurate and negative thoughts that affect their behavior and then reshape them. Exposure therapy allows patients to break avoidance and fear patterns, manage anxiety and process emotions. Remember to check in to see how your friend or loved one is coping and feeling, encourage him or her to do the things he or she once enjoyed, and offer to socialize with him or her.