Dealing With The Holidays
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, over 60 percent of individuals with a mental illness experience increased symptoms during the holidays. Traveling and vacations from school and work disrupt routines, which can cause additional challenges. For college students, adjusting to living at home again and suddenly having nothing to do after finals end can feel overwhelming.
While hibernating and/or isolating yourself may reduce anxiety, both should be avoided since they can significantly increase feelings of loneliness. Be sure to continue your regular treatment plan and consider attending additional support group meetings or therapy sessions if you believe they will help you better cope with the hecticness of the holiday season. Take time to sort through your emotions by journaling, spending a quiet moment alone to think, or talking to a friend. Avoid social media if comparisons with others are making you feel badly about yourself.
In order to reduce stress, make plans in advance. Use current information to give everyone time to become comfortable with decisions, especially if they involve significant changes from previous years and/or to treasured family traditions. Waiting until the last minute can cause confusion and will not provide children or adolescents time to deal with disappointment. Clarify safety rules and who will be present at gatherings.
If you are triggered by previous customs, try something new like a family bowling or movie night. Consider avoiding events that encourage the consumption of alcohol and schedule time for self-care by catching up on episodes of your favorite show or getting a manicure. When masks are not required, share a smile with a stranger to spread some holiday cheer. (Many people go an entire day without anyone acknowledging them.) Begin a “cycle of encouragement” by telling others what you appreciate about them. Listen to music that inspires and motivates you and reconnect with someone who lives far away by mailing a card or letter. Enlist family members to decorate and wrap gifts.
The holidays can be a good time to make amends to family members or friends (if needed), to take responsibility for your own behavior and to be more mindful on a daily basis. Use your support system and suggest placing a moratorium on criticizing relatives at gatherings. If you are worried about family members asking you specific questions about sensitive topics, like a breakup or taking a semester off from college, etc., practice your reply in advance so you will not have to struggle to give an answer.
For those who have lost loved ones since the previous holiday season, consider volunteering for or making a donation in their names to causes that were important to them, setting a place at the table for them, stepping up to continue a tradition they used to lead, and/or looking at pictures and videos to recall favorite memories with them. Dedicate a Hanukkah candle to them or buy a commemorative ornament for the Christmas Tree. Listen to their favorite music or plan a meal with dishes they especially enjoyed.
The times in which families are together decorating cookies, playing games or watching movies are more important than presents since that is what children will remember when they are older. To navigate the holidays with a mental health condition, embrace your feelings and be patient with yourself, recognize your symptoms and triggers, keep your plans simple, and do not be afraid to ask for help.