Family Meetings

When caring for an individual with a mental health issue, relatives need to work cooperatively. Family meetings allow all members to discuss issues in a safe environment and can foster positive behavior like compromising and expressing appreciation. While teenagers might find it difficult to imagine, parents can offer valuable support. Similarly, parents and guardians should remember that rewarding positive choices and actions can open lines of communication with adolescents and has longer, more beneficial effects than punishing negative behaviors.

To make family meetings as worthwhile as possible, keep them upbeat. Remember to maintain your sense of humor and talk about the good things that happened since the last meeting. Do not attempt to control the participation of family members who are present and try to include every person who lives in the home, from in-laws to nannies, in the meeting.

Find a place where everyone is comfortable, like the kitchen, the family room or even your backyard. If things are especially tense, you may want to choose a neutral location, such as a favorite restaurant. It can be helpful to create an agenda. Possible topics are medical information, current stresses or fears, what the person with the mental health condition wants and needs, and positive acknowledgment of efforts he or she has made. Be sure to write down any problems that are shared for future discussion.

Allow everyone a chance to lead and/or record the meeting, including adolescents. “Minutes” will permit participants to refer back to any agreements or decisions that are made. Following through and doing what you say you are going to will provide positive parenting by example. In order to resolve issues, keep talking until everyone agrees or at least decides that it is alright to disagree. It is important for individuals to use “I” messages, such as “I need…” rather than “You should…” When family members are at odds, try to find a part of what has been said with which you can agree. Consult a therapist or other mental health professional for deeper issues when necessary.

In order to encourage everyone to ask for help when he or she needs it, resist being punitive. Rather than being one time events, family meetings should take place regularly. This will allow more time for participants to process information. It can be helpful to schedule the meetings at the same time each month. Family meetings will not only lead to more productive solutions, they also will result in better decision making when and if a crisis occurs.