Finding Joy
Depression and other mental health conditions can lead to reward erosion, which causes individuals to abandon activities they once found pleasurable, and an existence that often feels muted and/or numb. In contrast, joy is the intense, momentary experience of positive emotion. To determine how much joy is in your life, think about how frequently you laugh. Consider how you feel when you enter your room. What are your “happy places” and when is the last time you visited one? Remember activities you used to enjoy and what was on your bucket list.
Humans hunger for sensory experiences as well as food, and feeling burned out often is the result of exhaustion AND boredom. Many different elements, abundance, celebration, creativity/play, energy, freedom/spaciousness, harmony, magic, renewal, surprise/whimsy and transcendence, comprise joy. To increase energy in your life, consider adding neon wall art, buying a colorful umbrella or shoes, participating in a color run or playing paintball, and touring an art gallery or museum. Experience abundance by going to a candy store; increase harmony (and balance) by hanging a mobile or going ice or roller skating; or expand your sense of space by using an essential oil diffuser or placing a bird feeder in your backyard.
Wearing whimsical socks or visiting a thrift store provides surprise, while going skiing, stargazing and watching clouds will increase feelings of transcendence. Flying a kite, placing a prism in a sunny window, or putting a pinwheel or a wind chime outside where you are able to see and/or hear it can be magical experiences. Sparklers produce a sense of celebration and watching sunrises or sunsets are sources of renewal. To increase joy in your daily life, try hanging a string of nautical flags or favorite post cards; using scented hand cream and lip balm; or buying magazines. Adding plants to a room can improve attention, creativity and productivity. It also is possible to bring nature indoors with floral or leafy fabrics/wallpapers, paintings of animals and plants, and landscape photographs.
To find your joy, keep a Joy Journal that notes any time you laugh or smile. Record where you were, who you were with, what you were doing, and any associated aromas, flavors, sights or sounds. At the end of the week, look for patterns. Think about Activities and Places (past or present), People (you know or admire, including celebrities), and Things (you currently, or formerly, own[ed]) and create a list of what makes them joyful for you. In reality, there can be actions that provide joy in the moment yet are not healthy for you in excess (like watching TikToks or consuming alcohol) so identify more constructive alternatives. Also, determine what activities, places and things are Killjoys for you.
Decide what you should add more and less of to your life (such as replacing gray items in your wardrobe with brighter colored ones). Make a mood board with visual references of things that bring you joy. Write lists of activities to try, places to go and people to see, which will help you make decisions when you have free time or are shopping or planning a trip, etc. Devise a project, which can be a space or an experience, object or occasion. Determine what to change or fix and how you want it to make you feel. (For example, add houseplants, patterned throw pillows, twinkling lights and a variety of wall art to create an ambiance of abundance.) In addition to making or buying things, you can find joy by discarding, donating and selling items.
Individuals can survive without joy, however, they will not thrive. Accepting all of your emotions, even the negative ones, without judgment will help you move forward as you realize that they are momentary rather than permanent feelings. Instead of thinking about the future, focus on today. Remember one activity that you love to do when you are feeling well. Be grateful for simple actions in life that make you feel good, like a hot shower or a smile from a stranger, and concentrate on doing one thing at a time, minimizing distractions, and allowing a brief period for creativity. Joy likely may follow.