Looking After Mental Health Caregivers

With Mother’s Day rapidly approaching, it is important to remember that mental health challenges affect an entire family. It is common for those who have a relative with depression to face disruption in their own lives, especially if they are helping with daily tasks like managing medications, scheduling appointments or providing transportation. Caregivers often experience difficulty concentrating, hopelessness, poor appetites or compulsive overeating and/or sleep disturbances. Physical ailments, such as headaches, back pain and chronic fatigue, and even marital problems frequently occur as well.

Know that you are not alone. Something as simple as confiding in a relative or close friend about how you are feeling or making a list of all the things that are bothering you can be healing. Accept offers of help by suggesting specific things that others can do to assist you, such as cooking meals, mowing the lawn, filling out insurance forms or driving your loved one to the therapist or doctor.

Learn how to communicate effectively with medical professionals and build a good relationship with them by making and maintaining eye contact, staying calm and remaining focused on why you and your family member are there. Before an appointment, write down any concerns, questions or symptoms so that you do not forget to discuss them with the provider. Take notes on any instructions or recommendations and ask about anything that remains unclear.

Make sure that your loved one’s medical information is current and organized so it is easier to find items when necessary. Include insurance details, provider contact information, diagnoses, a list of any medications, health history (i.e., other medical conditions, allergies and surgeries, etc.) and Health Care Proxies, if applicable.

Consider forms of technology that can help you to care for your family member. CareZone is a free app that organizes medication, keeps track of appointments and gathers insurance information in a single place. Symple is available for Apple in both free and upgraded versions. It logs emotional and mental health symptoms and how certain factors, including diet, exercise and amounts of sleep and screen time, may impact them. The data can be exported and placed in graphs.

Seek out other caregivers. Support groups allow you to share your feelings and make new friends, learn about available resources and effective coping mechanisms, and receive advice on what may lie ahead. Most are confidential and led by a facilitator. Consult the Depression and Bipolar Support Group for Northern Virginia, the Fairfax-Falls Church Community Services Board (“Heads Up” and “Talk It Out” are weekly groups for teens aged 14 to 17 with emotional, mental health and/or substance use challenges and their parents, which meet concurrently), the Northern Virginia Chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, faith communities, the social work department of area hospitals and online (through the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and Mental Health America, etc.)

Be sure to maintain a balance between caring for your loved one and yourself. Protect your own health by taking a daily vitamin, exercising and getting regular check-ups and an annual flu shot. It is important to find support and lessen the isolation that individuals often feel when they are looking after loved ones with mental health issues. By grieving what you may have lost, acceptance will eventually replace anger and sadness. Do not take your child’s or other loved one’s behavior personally and make a list of his or her core strengths. Remember the fun and amusing times you have had together in the past and write down one positive thing that happens every day. It truly is possible to restore balance and happiness to your life.