Raising Your Emotional Quotient
Most people are aware of Intelligence Quotient or IQ, which is a score that measures cognitive abilities, however, far fewer know about Emotional Quotient (EQ), which refers to emotional intelligence. Boosting your EQ will help you to connect with your feelings and make informed decisions about your life. Since IQ and EQ coexist, you will be happier when they compliment one another rather than working at odds.
EQ is the ability to use your emotions in positive ways to communicate effectively, defuse conflict, empathize with others, overcome challenges and relieve stress. It has four attributes: Relationship management (communicating clearly, managing conflict and working well on a team, etc.); Self-awareness (knowing your strengths and weaknesses and recognizing how emotions affect your thoughts and behavior); Self-management (through adapting to change, taking initiative and controlling impulses); and Social awareness (having empathy, picking up on emotional cues and being conscious of group dynamics).
The first step to improving your EQ is to manage stress, which limits your ability to think clearly and accurately assess both your and others’ emotions. Begin by examining your habits, attitude and excuses to identify the true sources of stress in your life. Create a Stress Journal and make an entry every time you are stressed, noting the cause, how you felt physically and emotionally, your actions in response and what made you feel better. Lessen future stress by learning how to say “No”, avoiding individuals who cause you to feel stressed and shortening your To Do List. Express your feelings and develop a balanced schedule with at least a small amount of downtime. Gain perspective by abandoning perfection and setting reasonable standards, practicing gratitude, and asking yourself if the stressor will matter in one year or even in a month. Finally, learn how to forgive and do not attempt to control the uncontrollable.
Practicing mindfulness can increase your self-awareness by transforming the tendency to be preoccupied with your thoughts into a focus on physical and emotional sensations. Gradually, you will become more comfortable handling strong or unpleasant emotions, which can be beneficial at times. For example, sadness can support emotional healing and anger can mobilize individuals and inspire change. Being present in the moment and focusing on your interactions with others will help you recognize subtle, nonverbal cues. (You also should be aware of your own body language, facial expressions and tone.) In reality, humor can lessen disagreements and constructively resolving conflict often strengthens and builds trust in personal relationships.
By becoming comfortable with, understanding and managing your emotions, including anger, fear, joy and sadness, you will improve your mental health. EQ and the ability to express how you feel and empathize with and understand others are vital life skills.