Social Media and Helping a Friend in Need

If you someone you know is placing distressing content on Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter or Facebook, it may be a sign that he or she needs help. Be aware of stories, posts, photos or videos that include themes of feeling alone, hopeless, isolated, useless or that he or she is a burden to others; irritability, hostility or anger that is out of character; impulsive behavior; insomnia; and/or withdrawal from everyday activities. Other signs for concern are the use of negative emojis and worrisome hashtags (such as #noonecares, #neverenough or #givingup) or following individuals, feeds and/or posts that promote negative behaviors.

Trust your instincts. Reach out to the person. Call him or her, stop by his or her house or walk with him or her between classes. Let the individual know that he or she is not alone and that it is okay to ask for help. Be clear and direct rather than “liking” the post or replying with an emoji, which could be misinterpreted by the individual you are trying to help. Some people may come from cultures or families where asking for mental health assistance is shunned or considered a weakness. It is important to take action.

Because it can be difficult to begin this type of conversation, try saying something like, ”I am worried about you because you seem (sad, withdrawn, etc.)” Have specific examples of what you have noticed, such as, “It worried me when you said…” Follow up with, “Do you want to talk about it?” or “What can I do to help?” If the individual says “No.,” you can reply, “That is okay if you do not want to speak to me, but it is important that you talk to someone.” Offer to help connect the person with his or her school counselor or a mental health service like the Fairfax-Falls Church Community Services Board or the National Alliance on Mental Illness Northern Virginia. You also can comfort him or her by providing an example of a time when you struggled and needed and sought support.

Signs that someone needs urgent help include emotional despair or intense guilt or shame (“I am so sorry for all the trouble I have caused everyone.”); rage or seeking revenge; giving away personal possessions; and glorifying or glamorizing death. If this is the case, you can bring the individual to the Emergency Room or call 911. It also is possible to report distressing content directly to the particular social network. On Instagram or Facebook, click the “three dots” button at the top corner of the post. For Instagram, choose” It’s inapropriate” and then “Self injury.” With Facebook, “Give Feedback on the post” and select “Suicide or self-injury.” On Snapchat, press and hold the snap, tap the flag button and then say why you want to report it. Finally, for Twitter, contact the Help Center and “Report self harm” for the person’s Twitter username.

Let the individual know that you take him or her seriously and believe what he or she is saying. Listen patiently without judgment or interrupting. However, know your limits and do not place yourself in physical danger. The best way to assist a friend in crisis is to connect him or her with a mental health professional. Do not be embarrassed or worried about offending or upsetting the individual. While it may require courage, you will be doing the right thing by helping him or her. #KeepTalkingMH #WellSeeYouTomorrow